Out of all the comments I’ve heard from managers in my career, that one was the most devastating.
I was four and a half years into my first industrial sales job. As one of the first inside sales representatives in a company dominated by outside sales representatives, I had no playbook to follow. I made up my own: pulling company lists from the library, calling prospects day after day, regularly making more than a hundred calls. I was one of the top performers with a wall of plaques and awards to prove it.
At an all-staff meeting, I questioned why we needed to add more inside reps when the team we already had was outperforming the company’s expectations. That’s when John, our VP, fired off that fateful line. He probably thought it was a joke. To him, it was forgettable. To me, it meant everything because it made me feel like nothing.
Lesson for leaders: Never have fun at someone else’s expense. What you say in the moment may be insignificant to you, but it can shape someone else’s career, confidence, or decision to stay or leave.
An Invitation That Changed Everything
Before my sales career, I worked as a 19-year-old data entry clerk at an executive search firm. One day, my boss Ann walked into my office and asked, “Would you like to attend a Dale Carnegie class?”
At that time, I had no idea who Dale Carnegie was. I soon discovered that Dale Carnegie wrote what I believe is one of the most important personal and professional development books ever written – How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Ann was inviting me to take the Dale Carnegie Course.
That invitation, one she could have given to anyone else, changed everything for me. I fell in love with public speaking and developed a love of learning. I began going to college at night while working full-time, eventually becoming the first in my family to earn a degree and later an MBA. It’s led to what I’m doing today, and I am forever grateful to Ann for giving me this life-changing opportunity.
Lesson for leaders: Look for potential and passion, not polish and pedigree. An invitation, a chance, or a nudge of belief can change someone’s future. Be someone else’s Ann.
Dale, the Boss Who Listened
Years later, in the welding industry, I worked for Dale. As one of the few women in the company, Dale took me under his wing. He mentored me, celebrated wins, and “talked me off the ledge” when things got tough. We didn’t always agree. When he wanted to hire another rep and give them a large automotive account in my territory, I pushed back hard. We argued. It was not pretty.
But here’s the difference: even in conflict, Dale respected me. When I eventually left the company, he was proud of me. To this day, Dale is still one of my dearest friends.
Lesson for leaders: Respect doesn’t necessarily require agreement; it requires a safe space where people can share ideas and opinions, knowing they’ll be valued even in disagreement.
The Conference Call
After leaving the welding industry, I moved into medical sales. Seven years in, I was having a record year and on track to win my first sales trip. Then came October 12, 2010.
Twelve of us were invited to a conference call for an organizational announcement. I didn’t think anything of it. After all, I believed that because of my performance and contributions to the organization, I was safe. However, on that call, we were told the company was losing $10 million; our jobs were eliminated, effective immediately. There would be no questions, and HR would follow up by FedEx. Click. That was it.
No, thank you. No acknowledgment of value. Not even a “nothing personal, it’s business.” Just a line, disconnected.
On that day, I vowed never again to let an organization hold my future in its hands. And I became an entrepreneur. Here’s the reality leaders often miss: when employees feel devalued, many don’t just go to a competitor, they leave the industry altogether, taking their skills and experience with them.
Lesson for leaders: Sometimes you have to make hard business decisions. But they can and should be handled with care, empathy, and gratitude.
